Someone a lot wiser than me once said :
"There is no cure for birth and death.
Save to enjoy the interval."
Truer words have never been spoken.
And as I lay here, rest assured,
I enjoyed every minute of it.
Life has a tendency to get in the way of all the living,
all the adventure.
So for God's sake,
have fun,
bearing witness to your ambition,
kindness,
your unbridled curiosity.
I hope you're...
enjoying every minute of your life.
For that would be the last answered prayer of this old man.
Thanks.
One minute you're mourning a loved one,
the next minute, your loved ones are mourning you.
What have we got ?
A single gunshot wound to the chest.
He bled out right here.
Got an ID ?
Kyle Vance.
Assistant District Attorney in Manhattan.
I've testified for him in the McShane homicides.
Kyle Vance's briefcase is unzipped ?
He prosecuted homicides.
Maybe the shooter was looking for something inside.
Piece of yellow rubber.
It's from a balloon.
Okay, I've heard of flowers at the cemetery, but balloons...
Some people celebrate life, others...
celebrate death.
Fair Game
Shooter left us a present.
Spent shell casing. 9 millimeter.
Live and living are...
I've heard about these headstones, but up until now, I've never seen one.
Vidstone.
The gift...
that keeps on living.
"Samuel Cooper." What's his relationship with our victim ?
Nobody seems to be able to answer that question.
Jennifer Cooper, Samuel Cooper's granddaughter, she says she...
came to visit her grandfather and found the victim lying here.
She's never seen him before.
As far as she knows, neither has her grandfather.
Kyle Vance, what are you doing at Samuel Cooper's grave ?
- What are we looking at, Detective ? - Kathleen Dunley.
- She live alone ? - Yup.
Moved to the city about three weeks ago.
Super came up to get her to sign some papers and found the front door open.
No bruising...
No defensive wounds.
No signs of struggle, just a little kinky sex.
Super mention anything about a boyfriend ?
Girlfriend, maybe ?
He didn't know anything about her personal life.
Boyfriend.
Looking forward to seeing you Michel.
Player's got no game. That should narrow down the playing field.
I'll find Michel.
Let's see what else lover boy left us.
All right.
Hey, Doc.
Whatever it is, it's not blood.
But this sure is.
Sharp force trauma.
Possible COD ?
Depending on how deep it is.
Only one way to know for sure. I'll get a bag.
No, hold up. Let's fume here first.
Because if the vic and killer were going at it last night,
he would have been all over her.
Right, and the best way to preserve the prints is before we move the body.
Okay, well-defined prints like this means
Kathleen Dunley's killer had something on his hands.
Your victim suffered a gunshot wound to the chest.
I'm guessing the bullet struck the xiphoid process,
which perforated the aorta.
You're guessing ?
Well, normally I'd be able to tell you for certain,
but normally when you get shot, there's a bullet.
We don't even have a bullet fragment.
CT scan didn't pick up anything.
We don't have an exit wound.
I did find a shell casing at the crime scene, but what happened to the bullet ?
Stellate tearing on the entry wound makes it difficult to determine,
but it's possible your shooter retrieved it.
His lucky bullet, maybe ?
We have a missing bullet.
I found trace amounts of a burned paper substance here in the wound.
See ?
When are these guys ever gonna learn ?
You never leave a paper trail.
William Tucker.
The penal code is his personal to-do list.
Pick a section and he has violated it.
Clearly he wanted something from Kyle Vance's briefcase.
- Call me if you need me, okay ? - Thanks, Adam.
Kyle Vance had a monster caseload.
Every one of his defendants qualifies as a violent persistent felon.
There is one, a guy called...
William Tucker ?
I hate that you're always one step ahead of me.
Guy's a real piece of work, total thug. He's got his own wing in Rikers.
I must have locked this guy up at least a dozen times myself.
Does Tucker have a case pending ?
Vance impaneled a long-term grand jury
to investigate pattern robberies on the Lower East Side.
Subject ?
William Tucker.
Know where to find him ?
Got an idea.
William Tucker ?
Do I know you ?
No, but you knew Kyle Vance, didn't you ?
Hey !
Remember me ?
You don't call, you don't write.
I was starting to think you were seeing other detectives, William.
Nah, man.
I'm out of the crime business.
We know you broke into Kyle Vance's apartment.
Kyle Vance...
Kyle Vance.
No, man.
- I don't know him. - Your blood is on his windowsill.
That Kyle Vance.
Mr. Booby-trap, right ?
He had glass under the window.
That's pretty good.
You know what else is pretty good ?
Your fingerprint on his briefcase found at the murder scene.
Murder scene ?
- You're kidding me, right ? - No, man.
We ain't kidding you.
Listen, I was just doing straight-up reconnaissance, man. That's it.
What were you looking for ? A witness list ?
Whatever it was, you didn't find it in the apartment,
so you took him out at the cemetery.
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Ease up.
Are you telling me the ADA on my case is dead ?
Must be my lucky day, right ?
Think this is a game ?
We got you on burglary two,
and you're a violent persistent felon.
No more "Get Out of Jail Free" cards for you, William.
Look, I don't know nothing about no cemetery,
which is obviously where you found this Vance guy.
Which means you probably can't put me at the cemetery
and now you're pressuring me for a confession.
Which is why your veins are popping out your forehead. Which means...
we're done here.
We're not done...
until a second life sentence is added to your time.
The burned paper recovered from the victim's wound was cardboard.
Specifically cardboard wadding, like from a shotgun.
When I analyzed the gunpowder around the cardboard,
the chemical composition was consistent with ultra-fast burning powder.
Our killer was shooting blanks.
That's why we didn't find a bullet in the victim.
At close range, the gases from the blank
generated enough kinetic energy to cause a fatal wound.
Maybe we're not looking at an intentional murder.
Okay, are you ready for this ?
Not only was Kyle Vance an ADA,
he was also a wedding planner,
a travel agent and a casting director.
Kyle Vance rented out one office,
and then dressed it to make it look like three different offices.
When I walked in, it was all set up to be a casting office.
He had movie posters, video cameras, everything.
He was pretending to be someone he wasn't.
But why ?
There was also another popped balloon.
And I found these.
Do you know any of those people ?
We know her.
Your vic had a full stomach at time of death,
which means she died within two hours of eating her last meal.
Sent the contents up to be analyzed.
I also found trace on the back of the deceased's head.
Mostly in her hair.
What is it ?
Not my department.
- We'd love to know when you find out. - Sid, what's your official COD ?
Asphyxiation.
Something inside your vic's mouth blocked her airway.
I found this during my visual.
Trauma to her tongue, Buccal Mucosam and palate...
Circular abrasions.
Even weirder is the two dozen eggs I found laid inside her eardrum.
No.
Eggs ?
What species ?
Oh, right, that's not your department, Sid.
So something burrowed into her ear and laid its eggs.
And then took a hike.
Whatever it was, it's gone now.
Maybe it's the same thing that's responsible for
the abrasions in her mouth.
We're going to need to incubate these eggs.
If we can find out what laid them,
it might just put us on the trail to our killer.
Trace Hammerback found on the back of Kathleen Dunley's head
was flour.
I asked Adam to break it down further.
Hey, hey, hey.
I think I found the guy who sent our vic the flowers.
Michel Hetu.
He owns The Grand Boulangerie, that huge bakery on Fifth.
We found flour trace on our vic.
Any reason this Michel would want to murder Kathleen Dunley ?
500,000 reasons.
That's the amount she was suing him for.
Our vic's name came up on the insurance claim database.
Made her fortune suing people.
Her targets were mainly restaurants with deep pockets.
She's been around and made a lot of money.
Slip and fall in Boston,
food poisoning in San Francisco, emotional distress in Detroit.
Now New York.
Her attorney contacted Michel two weeks ago.
Claimed that his client got sick eating the cake she ordered.
So...
She threatens to sue him
he sends her flowers.
That doesn't add up.
Looks like we're gonna have to have a sit-down with this Michel.
I was trying to sleep with her.
Did the flowers work ?
She was suing me.
I just thought I could convince her otherwise.
Where were you last night ?
- I don't remember. - You don't remember ?
It's been a rough couple weeks.
When's the last time you saw Kathleen Dunley ?
A week ago, at a deposition.
My lawyer told me to keep a distance.
Yet you sent her flowers.
I was hoping she would contact me.
You've been drinking ?
Some.
So Kathleen Dunley was going to, uh...
ruin your career, close your shop,
cripple you financially. So you do kill her ?
This room make you nervous, Michel ?
Yeah.
Concrete, bad lighting,
cold steel table. You got to walk through all these uniformed officers
just to get in this room. It's all there for a reason.
Chinese call it Feng Shui, right ?
To me, it just helps me determine whether you're full of crap.
So what is it ?
I didn't kill her.
Well, then you won't mind helping us prove that.
You handing out cigars, Papa ?
Not yet. The eggs are still incubating.
Any trace of our baker on that bow tie ?
The only thing I know is our killer had a 17-and-a-half-inch neck.
Hetu looked smaller.
Yeah. It doesn't help put him at the vic's apartment.
- What do you got ? - Stomach contents.
Safe to say our vic wasn't on the Zone.
Water bugs, duck fetus, whale bacon...
Exotic cuisine.
You think ?
No, no, no. "Exotic Cuisine".
I'm talking about this thing that's going on at the Grandview Regent this week.
Black tie affair where the super rich
get together and they eat crazy stuff.
I saw an ad for it yesterday.
That would explain the bow tie, fancy dress by the bed.
What do you think ?
- Are you hungry ? - Let's go.
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, she was here last night.
You sure ?
I was in the ballroom all evening.
Overseeing the event.
Was she with someone ?
Yeah.
Some guy. I only remember because they got in a fight
right before dessert. Jellyfish torte.
Yummy.
Think what you want, Detective, but my guests pay $10,000 a plate
to eat at these events.
They're Peruvian centipedes.
Last night was exotic seafood.
Tonight's event... creepy crawlers. Do you want to try one ?
No, I just ate.
Yeah, they're not for everyone.
When on the Upper Eastside...
Tastes just like chicken, right ?
Not really.
Mr. Collins, do you remember what Kathleen Dunley's date looked like ?
Yeah, uh...
White guy, 40's, big, 200, 225, Hair Club candidate.
I met a lot of people last night. I'll have someone send over a guest list.
Thanks.
If you remember anything else...
Yeah.
I can't believe you just ate that.
It's like swallowing a worm in a bottle of tequila.
Check that out.
Look familiar ?
The same type of marks we found in our vic's mouth.
Yeah.
But our list of stomach contents didn't include octopus,
and there was no trace at the scene.
Killer must have took it with him.
Mr. Collins, did you serve octopus last night ?
Live octopus was our featured appetizer.
Live ?
That must be quite difficult to eat.
Not if wrapped properly.
The trick to eating live octopi is in the wrap.
First, you extend the tentacles,
then carefully wrap them, making sure everything...
is tied tightly around the stick.
Wrap it wrong, it'll kill you.
We're gonna need to take these.
Jennifer Cooper ! Police !
Stop !
She's heading east on 54th ! Five-four !
Look out !
Police. Freeze.
Look out !
Get her in cuffs.
Are you kidding me ?
I thought he was trying to kill me.
No, that's why I ran.
I didn't know he was a real cop, I swear.
So this is some sort of, uh...
water gun...
assassination game ?
It's called Water Gun Wars.
Chief of police and the mayor briefed us about this.
You know...
you could have been killed running around waving this thing.
I know, I know.
Bloomberg's on a rampage to shut us down.
How many people in this game ?
Maybe a hundred.
- We should be down to the last few. - All the players know each other ?
Why are you asking me about this ?
The man who was killed at your grandfather's grave,
Kyle Vance, he was in the game, he had your picture.
So he was there to assassinate me ?
Someone murdered him before that could happen.
What are you saying ?
You think I would...
What do you get if you win, Jennifer ?
A hundred thousand dollars.
But... I never met that guy before.
I had no idea he was even in the game until you told me.
Tell me about the rules.
Everyone gets their first target from the Supreme Commander.
Supreme Commander ?
The guy who created the game.
Is he the guy who pays out the hundred grand
if you win ?
Yeah, apparently, he's some eccentric millionaire.
It only costs 50 bucks to sign up.
Know where I can find this guy ?
I got a flyer in the mail describing the game.
I called an 800 number and left my information on some answering machine.
Do you still have the flyer ?
No, I threw it out.
The Supreme Commander contacts you anonymously
and tells you to pick up your first dossier in an abandoned warehouse.
When I got there, there was an envelope
with a picture of another player and her home and work address.
How do you advance ?
You can either use a water gun or a water balloon.
If you hit your target, then you inherit the other person's target.
So, these are the...
people you already... killed, so to speak ?
Yeah.
Except him.
He's my next target.
I'm trying to figure out a ruse to get him.
A ruse ?
Creativity when making a kill is encouraged.
Like, uh... like... when I killed that guy.
How do I get a list of everyone else in the game ?
I don't know.
Nobody knows the Supreme Commander.
Congratulations, Jennifer. You're in the game.
He contacts you, not the other way around.
That guy...
the one who got killed...
he was stalking me at the cemetery ?
Question is...
who was stalking him ?
About the same size and shape
of what was inside the vic's mouth.
Melanin.
Octopus ink matches the stains we found.
Death by Cistopus indicus.
Our vic died...
trying to eat a live octopus.
Yeah, but when we found Kathleen Dunley
her hands were tied.
Means this was in cold blood.
Killer fed it to her...
and watched her die.
Water Gun Wars.
Well, that explains the balloons at the crime scene.
And in the victim's fake office.
So he booby-trapped his apartment to keep other players out, not William Tucker.
Why go through all the trouble of renting an office
and pretending to be a wedding planner or a casting director ?
Jennifer Cooper said creativity is encouraged.
She killed this girl by bribing a cab driver.
The victim lured his targets to the office
and took them out of the game.
That's pretty clever.
Sounds like fun, actually.
Yeah, except someone in this game is killing people for real
and they might kill again.
Looks like our suspects are active players.
No, the pictures without the X's
are the people who are still alive.
We're gonna catch this guy, we got to...
play the game.
Become assassins, we track down the active players
until we find one holding Kyle Vance's picture.
Whoever has it...
that's our killer.
All right. Who's our first target ?
This guy.
You like playing games with guns ?
They're okay.
You don't get the same rush as when you fire a real gun, though.
Or a blank gun.
Am I right ?
I wouldn't know.
Mind if I take a look in your bag ?
Actually, yeah, I do.
They say video games rot your brain, but...
I managed to hold onto the part that remembers my rights.
Okay.
I'll tell you what...
I know who's after you.
That's how I got your picture.
You let me peek at your targets, I give up her identity.
Deal ?
Deal.
What ?
I held up my end of the bargain.
Give her up.
Deal's off.
Like Watching Paint Dry.
Prints and DNA don't match Hetu.
He had the motive, but we don't have anything to put him inside that room
with Kathleen Dunley at TOD.
Adam called.
Flour trace you found in our vic's hair turned out to be Pang Go Gi.
Used for tempura, not baking.
So good-bye, Michel Hetu.
Hello, mystery date.
Maka.
Hawkes.
Yeah.
Okay. We'll be right there.
Our mystery date is no longer a mystery.
Yes, I was Kathleen's escort last night.
Yeah, well, we're interested in what happened after dinner, Mr. Bosch.
I dropped Kathleen off at her apartment.
I suggested we have a drink.
I was hoping to apologize
for our argument.
Instead she asked me to leave.
Now, what can I get you ?
Truman, I'm, uh,
I'm done for the night.
- Kathleen... - I'll call you tomorrow.
I obeyed the woman's wishes,
and I left.
How was the octopus ?
It was a bit tricky going down, but it was quite delightful, actually.
You don't really think I had something to do with this murder ?
Mr. Bosch, you were seen fighting with your client.
Her hands...
were bound
using your bow tie.
We're gonna need something that tells us you didn't do it.
Money.
Kathleen Dunley made me a very rich man.
- Why would I kill my golden goose ? - Why were you fighting with her ?
Kathleen Dunley enjoyed her men like she enjoyed her money.
Last night she had her sights set on
one of the chefs, Tony Collins.
She was fraternizing with the mark, huh ?
And you saw your attorney's fees going out the window.
Something like that.
- What the hell are you doing ? - Tru, let go of me.
I don't have to remind you how this works. If we're going to sue,
you cannot get up close and personal.
$13 million in 23 States.
I think that makes me the unlikeliest suspect.
You know, I think that Kathleen had a thing for the chef,
and she was gonna back out of this huge payday of yours, and you did it.
You're fishing, gentlemen.
As much as I've enjoyed talking to you two,
we're done. Now,
unless you have something substantial to hold me on,
I have an appointment to keep.
No.
So you're telling me my target's dead,
for real dead.
That's what I'm telling you.
- Damn. - And you were his assassin.
So I killed him...
for real killed him.
Are you crazy ? I never found the guy...
probably because it never occurred to me to go look in the morgue.
You familiar with blank guns, Mr. Stokes ?
You're looking at me for this.
You're serious.
For real serious. You were the one hunting him down.
What happened ?
You get in a fight over who hit who first ?
$100,000 buys you a lot of video games.
That's funny.
I'm done.
I'm not saying another word without a lawyer.
Fine. I don't need a word.
I need your DNA.
But aren't those, uh...
Your afternoon snack.
Still doesn't explain how these nasty treats got in our victim's ear
when they weren't even on the menu last night, though.
That's right.
What do you got ?
Promise me one thing :
If this is your guy, we share the collar.
All for one, one for all.
That's what I wanted to hear.
Gentlemen. Add Larry Whitford to your list of suspects.
- Who is he ? - Actually, you've already met him.
You see, five years ago Larry Whitford
legally changed his name to Tony Collins.
The exotic cuisine chef ?
- All right, so how's he figure in ? - I did the follow-up on the lawsuits.
Turns out that one of the restaurants our vic
put out of business five years ago
was run by our said bad boy.
Kathleen Dunley's attorney
sued the place he worked at for what she claimed to be
a near fatal meal.
The restaurant went under because of it.
Know what that sounds like to me ?
A recipe for murder.
I don't get it.
We've rounded up every active player in the game.
DNA on the balloon didn't match Jordan Stokes.
All right. What do we know ?
We know that the victim was killed with a blank gun.
And that he lured his targets to his fake office.
Where he pretended to be a travel agent, a wedding planner and a...
... a casting director.
Exactly. That's the way the office was last set up
like somebody was auditioning.
Blanks...
an audition... and a...
Head shot.
Our shooter has a flair for the dramatic.
He's an actor.
Let's find this guy.
It was payback, wasn't it ?
Five years ago, you were riding high in San Francisco,
until Kathleen Dunley walks into your restaurant and sued.
Then last night, you saw her at the dinner
and decided it wasn't going to happen again.
Lucky for you, the two of you never met.
Your case in San Francisco was settled out of court.
But you recognized her picture from the newspaper that reported the lawsuit.
Right ? You remember her ?
She look familiar ? But she didn't know who you were when you approached her
and poured on the charm last night.
All she thought was that you were the star of the evening.
The lawyer tried to break it up, so you two
decided to rendez-vous later at her place.
You show up with a little midnight snack.
But not before you two got hot
in the sheets.
Work up an appetite.
I brought you something. You hungry ?
I will be.
And when you were done, you tied her up
an fed her.
Food disagree with you ?
Sorry. You're not going to be able to sue me this time.
Kathleen Dunley was a criminal.
What does that make you ?
After San Francisco, my career was over.
My wife left me.
I spent five years rebuilding my reputation.
She was going to destroy that.
So you decided to destroy her life instead.
I got good news, Tony. You're still going to get to cook.
I'm sure you can do creative things with the Spam.
Except I'd keep the bugs off the plate.
'Cause the cons, they don't like when you mess with their food.
- You got him ? - Yeah.
Come on. Turn around. Give me your hands.
Okay.
- And live off the fat of the land. - It's over there.
Keep looking, Lenny. Just keep looking.
I'm looking, George.
I'm looking.
It's gonna be real nice.
Ain't gonna be no trouble, no fights, nobody gonna hurt nobody,
steal from'em. It's gonna be nice.
You're gonna get this one, Daddy. I know it.
And you know why ?
'Cause I have such a great coach.
She just might beat us both out for the part.
- Mack Taylor. - Chris Matthews.
So you're reading for the role of George, huh ?
Final scene.
Come prepared.
- Looks real. - Yeah.
You know, authenticity. Every little bit helps.
Mind if I check it out ?
Blank gun.
Did a movie a couple of years ago. The producers let me keep it.
What role are you trying out for ?
- The cop. - Cop ?
You sure you got the right audition ? There's no cop in "Of Mice and Men".
I'm working on a different version.
One that starts with an ADA found dead in a cemetery.
Killed, oddly enough, with a blank gun.
Let's not make a scene in front of your daughter.
Acting roles are hard to come by, aren't they, Chris ?
All those hours of preparation,
running lines with your daughter.
Praying, "If I just get that next one,
everything will be okay."
So when Kyle Vance set up that audition for you,
you put your heart and soul into it, didn't you ?
Must have killed you
when you found out it was fake.
He made me go through the whole thing, the son of a bitch.
... and I paid the check, and I walked out, I swear to God.
Fantastic. True, you have a gift, Chris, you really do.
Thank you, sir, that means a lot.
I only have one last question for you.
How do you feel about death ?
Excuse me ?
I got you ! You're dead !
He crossed the line.
I woke up that morning, I kissed my wife.
Kissed my little girl.
My daughter, you know what she said to me ? She said :
"It's okay if you don't get it, Daddy."
She's telling me it's okay.
I didn't have it in me to tell her it wasn't real.
Kyle Vance went to the cemetery
looking for Jennifer Cooper that night. You followed him, didn't you ?
Why don't you tell us what happened, Chris ?
I just meant to scare him.
I just wanted to see the look in his eyes.
Life has a tendency to get in the way of...
What the hell, man ? Hey, what is your problem ?
- You're out of the game. - Yeah, you're right. I am.
I only have one question for you.
How do you feel about death ?
Oh, what are you gonna do ?
Are you going to shoot me with a water gun now, too ?
No.
I'm going to watch you die, you sick son of a bitch.
I hope you're enjoying every minute...
... for that would be the last answered prayer...
I just meant to scare him.
That's all. I just meant to scare him.
All right.
I got mealworm spaghetti,
stinkbug paté,
that's nice... cricket croquettes,
braised and brochette...
Thai dragonflies.
Who's going first ?
- You gotta be kidding. - Pass.
It's just protein.
Told you she'd do it.
All right, all right,
Here you go.
Okay. Pizza in my office.
- You bet Mack I wouldn't do it ? - Yeah. What was I thinking ?
Betting against a country girl.
You know, it's actually not that bad.
Well, try it with some
grasshopper chutney.
Wasp tamale ?
Don't mind if I do.
The spaghetti mealworm's the best.